Have you ever been on what you think is a date but in reality is just coffee with a flirty straight guy? And why is it that gay guys can flirt with straight women but when straight guys flirt with gay guys…everyone gets confused? I once had a pseudo-boyfriend…a gay guy who could not emotionally commit and was happy with shagging me now until he found someone better for later. My friend Mark was telling us last night over dinner about his pseudo dates.

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He had met Mr Pseudo at Uni while working on a group assignment. He and this fellow seemed to have a lot in common. The guy suggested he and Mark have dinner that night. Mark thought he was cute and 85% gay. The guy was wearing a tight singlet (check) he had gel and highlights in his hair (check) and he was into Art and History and spoke French (oui..c’est gay!). They went to pick up a wine bottle and the guy did not let him pay. Through dinner, Mr Pseudo kept making eye contact with Mark…smiling…flirting. Mr Pseudo shouted him dinner. A total date and a perfect gentleman, Mark thought. They went out for a hot chocolate (tres romantic) after that…conversation flowed, lots of smiles, even some touching (arm, shoulder)…it was one of those perfect first dates. Mark casually referred to his sexuality and Mr Pseudo smiled.

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Last night I caught up with my friend Ellie who had recently moved back from Europe. Ellie and I had worked a few years ago and had bonded over our obsession with Scandinavian men. She had lucked out, having fallen in love with a hunk from Sweden. She had moved back with him and they seemed to have a perfect relationship. They were a striking couple…she has very dark and exotic looking….he’s very tall and Viking looking. I was surprised when I heard she was back in town. My first thought was that Ellie and her hunk had broken up. That was not the case, although he was still in Sweden while she was back in Sydney. If there was a couple that was going to make it…it was them, I thought. They had this amazing passionate relationship.

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Mark has another work colleague who loves to flirt with him. The guy is straight but it does not stop him from asking Mark out…they send each other flirty e-mails…and he complements him on his dress sense. He’s not bi…just comfortable with his sexuality. If we can flirt with straight women…why can’t straight men flirt with gay men? Have you been on a pseudo date?

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Mark got a text message from Mr Pseudo afterwards. Mr Pseudo said he had a great time and wanted to catch up again. So they caught up for coffee a few days later. Again, the conversation flowed. There was a sparkle in Mr Pseudo’s eyes. They spoke a few days later after their second pseudo date. Mark was excited…could this be Mr Right? “My girlfriend likes that museum,” he told Mark over the phone. He was confused. Girl as in friend who is a girl? No...girlfriend as in he likes pussy. It turns out they had been living together for six years. Damm…why was he so flirty? A cockteaser?

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